a real soundtrack for an imaginary spy film
Supplemental Material to The
Disco Surfers Bumpus Rumpus: SCAB AND THE BOOGIE MEN
Copyright © 2003 Arthur Jarvinen
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Scab and the Boogie Men, seen here playing a senior dance at a high school somewhere in northeast Ohio. As usual, they didn't go over at all well, as they were unable to play any of the songs the audience requested, and no one could dance to anything they did play, which was mostly an odd mix of twisted blues riffs over a surf beat, usually in a different meter, with sax solos that sounded like Ornette Coleman with most of his keys stuck. The one familiar tune they did play was "I Want To Make It With You", which started out fairly convincingly and got some of the audience slow dancing until, just when they least expected it, Lance deliberately broke the spell by rolling around on the dance floor and yodeling.
Pictured, from left to right:
"The Baron" – Rhythm Guitar. Any musical sophistication the band has acquired is thanks solely to him. He is a serious player, actually knows a thing or two about theory, and is always trying to get the guys to practice their parts at home.
Melvyn Melville – Alto Saxophone. He actually started the band, calling it Mel and the Melt-Downs, although everyone thought he meant "Mel-Tones", but as soon as Scab joined everyone voted him the leader and they changed the name to Scab and the Boogers. They let Melvyn stay in the band on the condition that he never express an opinion and just play what he's told. The Boogers became the Boogie Men on the advice of their manager just before they went on the road in the interest of being able to play a wider variety of venues.
Scab – Lead Guitar, and undisputed leader. He's not really any good, musically, but he's the only one in the band who ever gets any attention from girls, so the rest of the guys figured they might benefit from being associated with him.
Lance Boyle – Xylophone & Bass Clarinet, although he rarely plays either of them for more than a moment as he is usually dancing frenetically in front of the stage, insulting the audience, or yodeling - which he can actually do quite well, having learned the art from his Swiss grandmother.
Not seen in photo:
"Rat" Ratoslawski – Drums, Tabla, & Chimes.
"Itchy" Brothers – Bass & Tuba.
The photo was taken by the high school's principal, who didn't trust the band and wanted a picture to show the police to help identify them in case they tried to steal anything from the band room before leaving town.