a real soundtrack for an imaginary spy film

Episode Twenty - WHERE CAN I BURY MY SHARK? (Gunnar's Theme)

Copyright © 2002 - 2005  Arthur Jarvinen

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Marla Borosnowski has gotten Tiny Bubba and a bunch of his sumo buddies, including Gunnar Smōk, down to the beach in order to introduce them to the pleasures of a real beach party, just like in the movies, which she has a certain nostalgia for since her high school days in Orange County. (Mustaccio politely declined the invitation, having a rather important "business matter" to take care of.)

After roasted weenies and marshmallows they are singing around the bonfire, and as it is quite common knowledge that Gunnar is somewhat of an expert in the unique gastronomic traditions of his homeland and an enthusiastic if not especially talented folk music practitioner besides, he is prevailed upon by unanimous assent to share a song with the group. Graciously accepting the dirt cheap acoustic guitar handed to him, he defers to his friends' wishes and sings an original number on a traditional subject, assisted by his Tuvan girlfriend, Gruupi Hugg.

The song eloquently describes the practice, carried out in Iceland since ancient times, of burying dead sharks in the microbe-free volcanic soil so that later, the fish's urine having been leached out through its skin, the desiccated meat can be eaten as a prophylactic against the unpleasant after-effects of imbibing enormous quantities of brennevin*.


Claude, a stone's throw down the beach crouching close to his hibachi for both warmth and light, takes a couple of slugs of Black Death - not the vodka that Axel Rose made popular with his fans, but the stuff in the green bottle you get in the duty free shops in Iceland - before turning a leaf in The Rime of the Ancient Mariner.

Ever wonder how they eat hotdogs in Iceland? Click the flag if you want to know. Wish I could find a picture of one of those green bottles... *Brennivin. Not sure exactly what it's made from, but it's kind of a gin or jenever, with the predominant flavoring being angelica root.

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