a real soundtrack for an imaginary spy film

                              THE SURFIN' COWGIRL FROM SLUPSK (And It's Love At First Sight)

Copyright © 2002 - 2005 Arthur Jarvinen

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Marla Borosnowski is Polish but did her junior year in high school as an exchange student in Orange County, during which time she acquired her habits of dressing like a cowgirl and chain smoking Marlboros, and became quite an avid surfer as well. Now a successful photojournalist with an international reputation she is in Tokyo covering the sumo tournament for her next book.

The first bout, as you will no doubt recall from previous reading, pits the crowd favorite, Tiny Bubba, against Gunnar Smōk, the only Icelandic sumo wrestler to hold official ranking. In just under three seconds Tiny defeats Gunnar with "victory by sheer intimidation", a time-honored though esoteric maneuver that few contemporary rikishis have even heard of, let alone mastered.

Marla immediately perceives that Tiny is like no other man she has ever encountered and blurts quite out loud, though without meaning to, "I must meet him!". Mustaccio, in the seat beside her, having taken notice of Marla some time ago and seizing the opportunity to impress her, turns to her and says "I think I can arrange that. Gunnar is an old friend, and I'm sure he'd make an introduction at my request".

Mustaccio makes good on his offer, Marla Borosnowski meets Tiny Bubba, and the two  fall instantly and hopelessly in love. Back at her hotel the new lovers make quite a ruckus, Marla riding Tiny like a horse, clad only in her hat and boots, a Marlboro hanging from her lips, and cracking her whip as Tiny shouts repeatedly something we can only guess at the meaning of, being in an obscure Japanese regional dialect. After several complaints from other guests, they are asked to vacate the premises.

Knowing it will be next to impossible to find another hotel room in Tokyo during sumo season they don't even bother to try, and instead decide to duck into a bar for some refreshment.


Claude can be seen at one end of the counter nibbling some salted soy beans and sipping a very special sake enhanced with a bit of smoked shark's fin - a treat he first discovered at a place called Decibel, in Manhattan - and reading Musashi's A Book of Five Rings, taking special note of the author's ninth principle: "Do nothing which is of no use".
Seahorse photo by Mr. Mohammed Al Momany, Aqaba, Jordan. Taken Gulf of Aqaba, Red Sea. NOAA Photo Library.


Did you know they surf in Ireland? (I didn't). Click the surfboard picture above for beautiful pictures of Irish surfing.

It is traditional to drink sake from a wooden box called a "masu" (pictured above).

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